confession of a broken mind #1

Dear Luv,

I was just celebrating my 27th birthday last May 26. I celebrated it with 3 bars of dark chocolate and a bottle of Cointreau. Yes, you read it well, Cointreau. Awesome, isn’t? I sipped it with some folks here.

But then, the Cointreau made me think about something that is bothering my life these days. So I wanna make a confession of what’s going on in my mind:
1. Feel like I wanna let my sunshine go
2. Feel like I fall in love with someone much older
Oh yes, you read it correctly.

So yesterday morning I called my sunshine to ask about our relationship, and it was not going as I expected. He was so sweet, damn nice. How could I break his mood then?

I spend observing the new guy then these days. Is he the one? If I'm pretty sure that my sunshine is not the one, then why I kinda have the feeling that this new guy is the one? Or it's just another lots like love? Will I hear the click sound this time?

OMG if yes. This new guy is about 10 years older than me. He is not that handsome or as cute as my sunshine. He is not as smart as I expected, smarter than my sunshine though. He is modest. He is so usual and ordinary. Yet I am amazed by his charm. I saw him differently. I saw silliness behind his silence and cold manner, his childhood side, which then I adore.

Do I have the guts to continue this feeling or simply enjoy and kill it?
I'm not worry about my sunshine, for we can't save our love, or maybe we have no love after all. We don't walk the path better nor together. And maybe it's about the time to give in. I don't feel sorry, I have nothing to regret. Everything is just beautiful as it is.


What do you think, Luv? What should I do?
luv,
-onk-