The Three Oddest Words

Dear Luv,
This is one of my favorite poems:

The Three Oddest Words

When I pronounce the word Future,
the first syllable already belongs to the past.

When I pronounce the word Silence,
I destroy it.

When I pronounce the word Nothing,
I make something no non-being can hold.


By Wislawa Szymborska
Translated by S. Baranczak & C. Cavanagh© Wislawa Szymborska, S. Baranczak & C. Cavanagh

:: women ::

Dear Luv,
I just wanna share this with you, a piece of writing that comes out from my mind...

...
Woman is awesome... nope, she's more than words.
Delicate like flower but strong enough to move this world.
Why so?
This morning I went to Beringharjo market, and guess what I met a living portrait of Bu Bei (one of characters in Arswendo's Canting). For those ever read Canting will know who she is.
Anyway, gara-gara sebuah sesi di feminism school, dku jadi tambah yakin klo kesetaraan gender adalah perkara akses pertama-tama. tanpa akses tidak akan ada penyadaran, pendidikan, partisipasi apalagi kontrol. Feminism bukan sekedar melawan mengalahkan pria, not at all gals! it's not about defeating them. It's about how to make them realize that we must be equal in access to have awareness, to participate and to have control. IT'S ABOUT HOW TO ELIMINATE ANY DISCRIMINATION. Living portrait of Bu Bei di atas apakah berbeda dengan wanita karir di kantoran mewah? tidak, jika mereka sama-sama mengalami diskriminasi, tidak jika mereka sama-sama belom memiliki kontrol atas hidup mereka sendiri.

Kuota 30% yang diberikan bagi wanita untuk berpolitik di negara ini belum maksimal digunakan ketika kesetaraan gender baru pada tahap pemberian akses -itu pun belom merata -- dan secara instan kita diminta berpartisipasi sedangkan pendidikan penyadaran (tidak hanya dalam hal berpolitik) bagi kita baru saja dimulai, diperparah dengan kontrol yang masih belum berada di tangan kita.
Apa artinya bekerja setengah mati melawan ketidaksetaraan dengan menjadi wanita karir atau feminist atau aktivist namun tetap tidak tahu apa yang diperjuangkan?
Hidup adalah pilihan, ketika kita telah memiliki kontrol maka kita bisa memilih. Sayangnya, tidak semua wanita di negara kita tercinta ini telah sampai pada tahap itu, bahkan mereka pun belum sampai pada tahap terbukanya akses.

Wanita di negara ini baru mengenal apa itu kesetaraan gender, ketika jendela kami dibuka pada tahun 1974 dengan CEDAW --walo Ibu Kartini telah mendobrak celah sejak berpuluh tahun lalu-- jangankan berpolitik dalam Dewan, lha wong rapat RT saja hanya bapaknya yang ikut kok.

Kami sedang belajar merangkak keluar dari kungkungan kultur, tradisi, agama dan norma. Bantu kami dan jangan sirik ketika melihat kami mulai berjalan mencari keadilan. Bukan salah kami jika kami masih saja laku dalam perdagangan budak sampai abad ini. Bukan juga salah kami jika melalui rahim kamilah generasi sebuah bangsa diteruskan. Melainkan kebenaran kami bahwa kami sama istimewanya dengan kaum pria!

terserah kita

Ada saatnya,
ketika sayap telah kokoh
ketika fajar telah merekah
ketika jalan telah terbuka...
untuk kita

Ada pilihan,
antara cita dan tuntutan
antara cinta dan keadaan
antara satu dan lain hal...
terserah kita

Ada kalanya,
kesedihan karena kehilangan
kerinduan karena kabar menyapa
kebahagiaan karena rasa yang dibagi

Ada apapun itu,
kita yang hidup
kita yang menjalani
semua terserah kita,
karena segala yang ada adalah pilihan

letter from Christy

Dear Luv,

I received this letter as I opened my email, and I love it. So I wanna share it with you.

Dear Mia and Pongki,

I just wanted to send a special thank you to both of you, as you have both been so much a part of my life these last five months. (oops. I finally spilled tea on my computer. I knew it would happen sooner or later—don’t worry, just a little bit and just on the screen.)

I remember my first time in the office. Pongki—I think you were out at Agatha or something. And I met you, Mia, and everyone else. For some reason, Mia you seemed very tall to me. I don’t know why. Maybe it was just because you were so impressive.=) And I remember that first night, going to the book fare and losing Pongki, and Mia, you trying to help me find dinner (you did that quite a bit=). It was a first day to remember.

And then the next several weeks, trying to make sense of and understand the reports that needed to be written. I never thought I would get it, but somehow I did, and now I think the form is so ingrained in my being it will take an act of God to get it out. =)

Sorry, this is just a little random, so please forgive the lack of organization.

Mia, I have many memories, riding around on the back of your motorcycle. Most often, for some reason, it seems we were looking for food. Maybe that means that we really value food. What do you think? And I remember being invited by you and your friends for Nasi Kucing, and Candi hunting. Thank you for not being racist, and including me in your activities. =) And I also remember sitting in a very scary becak in Medan, riding through the loud night air, with Mbak Dewi. And hmmm—there are so many things, I don’t know where to start. Swimming at around midnight in Berastagi. Riding in the back of the pickup truck with Pak Sigit driving. Arguing. I don’t remember what about, but I do remember arguing. What did we argue about? I do however remember arguing about the bracelet, and you know what. I think I will remember you so much more when I see that bracelet because of our heated discussion=). Thank you. Mia. For everything. And If you start being killed softly by the weekly reports, pak jenderson, pak Sigit, and anyone or anything else, please let me know and I will try to help!

And Pongki, what I will remember most about you is your very patient and very frequent answers to my translating questions. If I were to count them, I don’t know how many there would be. =) Thank you. And also your music. I have never heard such fascinating music in my life. And thank you for letting me edit the website every so often. That was truly lifesaving after a whole day of translating Mas Kiswanto’s stories (even though I really do like his stories=).

And to both of you, I have several memories. One is a Saturday afternoon, I think we were working on a powerpoint presentation (the 12 week one, maybe?), and only the three of us were in the office. Things got a little crazy. We blasted our music so much that we disturbed the PA next door. And we had just discovered audibles on Yahoo, and we kept on sending them to each other. I don’t know how much work we actually got done, but it sure was a lot of fun. =) And I also remember discussions on prepositions and various translations of various words. Pongki—you usually were much speedier than I was to think of both Indonesian and English words. I really enjoyed our linguistic grammar conversations. I think most people would go to sleep hearing them, but you guys were so very interested and interesting. =)

And there is so much else to tell, but time, computer battery, and space are limiting. My thoughts and prayers are with both of you as you continue in your lives, wherever those may lead you. You are both, in my humble opinion=) extremely talented and dedicated, and I know that you will both do much to change the world for the better whatever you do and wherever you go. And I truly do hope that sometime in the next two years, your path will lead you to Papua. =)

Blessings, dear friends,

Christy

susah senengnya kerja ... (only my second thought)

Dear Luv,

Lumrahnya neh, kerja itu ada jam kerjanya. Nah dku? Berangkat dari rumah setengah sembilan, tapi pulang ke rumah juga after 9 p.m. hehe...
Pakaian? jangan tanya deh, selama gak naked sih masih ditolerir, ya kecuali kalo mo meeting ama board or donors seh (tapi klo donors-nya macam Kate? hmm..).
Siapa direktur siapa office boy? Nah ini asyiknya, mulai dari direktur sampai office boy pernah ngerasain dan ngelakuin yang namanya ngepel lantai, begadang bermalam-malam mulai dari ngejeglokin modul sampai nyelesein reports/proposals (Fiuh...!), packing logistic yang amit-amit semeunasahgadhang, ato sekedar iseng karena males pulang (ngaco deh!). Singkatnya, semua dikerjain rame-rame-rame-rame....
Paling seneng kalo ke lapangan. Kenapa? karena itu berarti travelling, migrasi ke propinsi laen. Yihaa...! Kadang yang berada di satu pulau tapi seringkali ke pulau-pulau-pulau dan pulau lain di Indonesia Raya, sekali lagi yihaa..! Tapi itu berarti juga PALING CUAAPEEEKK!!! kenapa? karena tugas & tanggung jawabnya berlipat. How come? By bus. Naaah, kidding. Ya karena di lapangan dku punya task yang biasanya sepanjang dua halaman A4 single space dan dituntut output yg jelas, jadi enggak cuma wira-wiri piknik antar pulau & having fun. Padahal neh, kerjaan at my desk di office Jogja kan tetep menimbun yg juga tanggung jawabku. Hiks banget kaan...! Udah gitu, sparing partners satu desk ada aja yang ngeselin, yang sakit lah, yang jenuh lah, yang ... yang-an lah (walo seringnya nyenengin seeh.. damai-damai Ponks & Christ! Kagak maksud looh). Mana sekarang dku mo ditinggalin mereka hiks.. yang satu mo resign, yang satunya lagi mo hijrah ke Papua. Super hiks... dah pokoknya!
Hal yang paling nyenengin juga ketika ketemu banyak temen-temen baru. Makhluk-makhluk ajaib that come into my life and reveal their unique characteristics. They are sweet and they're suck hehe... Siapapun dan bagaimanapun itu, still they're wonderful and I'm blessed to have them around.
Kemampuan adaptasi in many new places with new people are high demand. Bayangin aja, kalo lagi bete sebete-betenya suddenly ada urgent meeting with "disaster tourists" yang enggak pake kulonuwun asal bertandang, atawa ada reports yg kudu dikejar dateline-nya, atawa meeting dadakan karena ada internal problem (bang Erwin, laen kali klo mo ngajak berantem jangan jam 2 pagi yaa... siang hari napa?), atawa.. nah ini yg paling bikin frustrasi... menuhin permintaan audit! mana permintaannya ada aja yang enggak ada stock jawabannya (wah feeling pak Rudy oke coy), jadi bantuin desk finance & logistic (sekarang logistic Jogja punya PiC oi..) yang tiap hari "kehilangan sesuatu" jadi agenda urgent these days. Wah... serasa mo quit aja deh.
Quit? Resign? Yup. kata yang seringkali mondar-mandir di pikiran. But, is that worth? Karena apalagi yang lebih worth selain membuat hidup sedikit bermakna? How? Tanya sama diri kamu sendiri dunk!
Oya, kerjaanku sebenernya ngapain seh? dimana? Hmm.. udah panjang neh cerita-ceritanya. Makasih udah baca sampe selesai ya... for the answer... well, see you on my next "second thought".

Cheers,

-onk-

a mailbox for you

Dear Luv,

Pertama kali liat sih di koran, majalah dan iklan lewat di email. Kedua, enggak ngerti apa itu blog. Kali ketiga, gak sengaja nemu blog temen yang warna pink-purple lucu. At last, I created my own blog! ..and guess what, I use this as a mailbox for you!
Nyoba sekali-dua kali-tiga kali bareng Ponks hasilnya gagal... Keempat, masih ditemeni si Ponks yg entah lagi ngedit atawa download lagu dibelakangku (piss Ponks...), akhirnya jadi juga bikin blog. Hmm... jadi ini yang namanya Blog?
Have a nice reading then.

luv,
-onk-