Thursday, January 7, 2010

rudjak series: 10 years and counting


"You are a blast to the past, a present to the present, and a treasure to the future," quoted from Aree, salah seorang "wanita penghibur" yang menyadarkan betapa kaya diriku.


Dear Luv,

It was an after-rain-evening, neither cold nor warm. The food was plain yet the words were spoken well. At that moment I realized how rich I am, to have such friends. It was a total happiness. Kami bicara banyak, dari pentingnya nampang di sebuah sudut unik kota New York sampai ke "what is happiness?"

Percakapan kemudian mengalir ke sebuah topik, di antara tawa dan intermezzo sederhana. Tentang seorang yang narsis, tentang seorang yang "sakit", tentang seorang yg building allies utk menyerang orang lain, tentang seorang teman. Was it a friend, anyway? It depends on how you define "friend".

Ternyata ada juga orang yang sangat merasa perlu utk menyatakan eksistensinya, tentu saja menurutku karena ia tidak pernah memperoleh pengakuan. Oh well, pengakuan mungkin banyak, tapi yang memenuhi kepuasannya? Uhm... For me it just another form of addiction.

Sedangkan untuk menjawab "what is happiness?", aku merasa tidak berhak. Pertama karena to define happiness is a personal privilege. Second, how can I tell about happiness when I can't give the proof in an absolute statement or material? So it's totally your call.

The next thing was "what is success?" A friend believe that it is a matter of having a lot of money and having a happy family. Another friend said that it was a matter of having a very rich husband and a lot of money. The other said that it was a matter of what you achieve in your own standard. Well, again, it's your call.

Dan selain itu aku lupa, mungkin karena terbasuh derai tawa yang membuat perutku kram semalaman, mungkin karena aku terlalu berusaha mengingatnya, mungkin karena janin di perutku membuatku lupa akan hampir semua hal lainnya, ah entahlah. Jadi biarkan pembicaraan kaya itu menari saja dulu di sel-sel otakku sebelum kumuntahkan kembali di sini untukmu. Ya, untukmu dan masih akan untukmu.



Luv,
-onk-