the worst place on earth? tell me about it...

Dear Luv,

I was just browsing lonely planet site, and I kinda surprised with what I've found there. And add to my surprise, I kinda agree with what people posted there :D

The site's page was discussing about the worst place in the world they've ever been. To my surprise, some of which I must totally agree, can't help it.

Medan is mentioned and Nias... gosh! . And... some friends immediately adding Nias also, responding my status in yahoo messenger. Nias undeniably has unique nature beauty, but some locales' ... their characters frustrated you to death. Don't take it wrong, I love this island, I love its natural beauty e.g. beaches, hills, traditional houses and stuffs. I have great times here... but sometimes it drives me crazy to be among stubborn fellows and hard characters of locales. Meskipun ada yg bilang: Sibolga is the worst and Nias is heaven after purgatory :D

Medan, aahh I never really get the beat. It's just an unfriendly city for me. I almost always got sick after returning from Medan. The loudly-speaking people, awful traffic, air pollution... oh well, I must agree that Medan is one of shit-holes in my beautiful world. My deep apology, thousands of apologizes for all folks and friends there, I must say sorry, but really-truly I can't stand not to agree upon their opinion.

Bangkok, hmm... I don't like that city since the beginning. For me, Bangkok is just another big-crowded-polluted city, almost like Jakarta. Still... I had good time when I was there :)

Batam, I just can't find anything good there, for I stay only in few days.

Among all postings, I found the funniest one:

Re: THE WORST PLACE IN THE WORLD!%**????????

From where I've been so far, I'd have to say Tangier, Morocco as well. "Hey buddy, you wanna guide/smoke/get high/girl/my sister/me?" Uh, no...

I never been to Morocco, but reading the posting I understand why he/she pissed-off.

And you know what, as what you've suggested long ago, I wanna start writing reviews on places I've visited :D

Alrite, wanna start recollecting, hahaha...

luv,

-onk-

Godspeed sist!

Dear Luv,

Hujan masih turun, hmm... I think it's a good sign. Hujan akan membasuh rinduku and keep me warm. Aku sudah pada titik tidak peduli. Kalau memang sampai di sini ya sudah, I'll ask no more. Hidup tetap indah seperti adanya. Like what I've said to the world, if he's good enough for me then he'll stay. Someday there'll be one prince charming that is meant to be mine.

Oh by the way, I have a good news. Lindo will defend her thesis tomorrow... eventually. It's great, isn't? Oh am so happy. And I believe all folks are joining this happiness too hehehw... Godspeed sist!

Barusan Txa texted me, katanya internet providernya lg error, hmm... no chat with her tonight then. Padahal dku pengen tau apa tanggapannya tentang kado ultahnya dariku hehehw... eh udah dia terima blm ya? hmm...

Have I told you about the posters I made? Am done 2, kurang satu lagi. Fiuh! Mau dipasang di baliho buat gantiin AIDS campaign yang udah nampang sejak December lalu. Kasian penduduk Gunungsitoli pasti udah bosen abis liatnya hehehw... makanya demi pemandangan mereka rada fresh, kami bikinkan new campaign materials, still on health though.

hmm... wanna start reading Pride and Prejudice tp kok males ya? hehehw... dari kemaren pengen doank abis beberapa halaman langsung give up, payah!


what should I do?
luv,
-onk-

ps: the draft designs of posters are there, please have a look and tell me what d'ya think.

a jumping ideas letter...

Dear Luv,

Barusan listrik mati, uughh... sebel deh klo udah malam trus listrik mati, kan jadi terasa tambah sepi aja pulau ini. Syukurlah sekarang udah menyala lagi. Dan syukurnya lagi sekarang hujan horaay! Kamu tau kan, hujan berarti persediaan air aman --for couple of days hehehw... tp syukurlah lagi, beberapa bulan terakhir hujan terus, jadi kami punya cukup air.

Hari ini bikin poster (lagi). Of 3 am done 1 hehehw... lumayan kan secara baru belajar pakai corel di mac --sebenernya sih sama aja dgn di windows cuma karena udah lama enggak pakai aja jd alasan pdhal lupa-lupa juga gimana caranya hihihi... dan jari ini udah pegel banget dari tadi ngutak-atik garis dan bentuk hiks...

Tadi ngobrol sama Jablay soal keyakinan dll, hmm... tuh anak kadang-kadang nyambung juga kalau diajak ngobrol begituan. Pas kami lagi asik ngobrol eh ada bapak-bapak ngeliatin dengan tatapan seakan mau menawar hiiy... enggak takut-takut amat sih, biasa aja cuma aneh aja, udah tuwir, botak kok melototin dengan tidak sopannya. Well, I know that tatapan biasa differs with tatapan mesum alrite, don't be so ngeyel gtu lah Luv. Please agree with me for once!

Tumben jam segini Panda udah ngorok di sebelah. Hmm... dia sedang memendam kecewa pada teman-teman, pada sistem pada semuanya, aku tau itu, cuma gak ngerti gimana ngajakin ngobrolnya. Cowok emang aneh, kadang-kadang begitu enak diajakin ngobrol, detik berikutnya diam seribu bahasa. Hmm...

Btw ternyata "name" berasal dari Old English "nama" so bahasa indonesia mengadopsi Old English? hehehw... cool! **analogi ngawurku malam ini, maybe "nama" in Old English has nothing to do with "nama" in Bahasa Indonesia but coincidentally have the same meaning :D or not? as nothing in this world happens by chance hehehw... --quoting from Coelho's Veronika Decides to Die, an awesome book by the way**

Today chat lagi sama Mr. Nice Guy. He's nice, that's why I named him Mr.Nice Guy. We always have nice chat --again, another reason why he's named Mr. Nice Guy. Dunno where these conversations will lead.

**eh Panda bangun. Asik jd bisa nyetel musik keras-keras kan enggak bakalan ganggu tidurnya karena dia udah bangun**

Aaanywaay, surat ini kok jadi gak jelas topiknya and has jumping ideas gini? Well, it means I have to end this. Alrite, I'll see you later!

luv,
-onk-

wanna start reading...

Dear Luv,

Howdy?
Nias panas hari ini, sangat gerah. Udara lembab menggantung rendah, membuatku sesak.

Semula dku berencana utk masak spagheti, tp males belanjanya jd batal, pdahal pengen banget :(
Tadi pagi bangun langsung mandi and cuci-cuci, aaahh... seger! Trus baca-baca-baca... sampe skr nulis ini buat kamu.

Hmm... I've been thinking, you know. I will not take him and his act too seriously anymore. I had enough pain. Jadi... aku akan berusaha, menulis surat-surat yang enggak melulu tentang dia, tapi tentang hidup... well, more about me, this life, nias... anything but sorrow caused by my sunshine, how's that?

** fiuh, nias puanasss banget hari ini, btw. Pd detik aku menulis ini, badanku udah kuyup oleh keringat **

Oya, minggu lalu kami ke pemandian air panas Idanogawo. Semula kukira kayak situs purbakala gtu, eh ternyata cuma kolam renang air panas biasa, emang sih sumber alamnya rada ancient gtu tp renovasinya udah terlalu modern, in my humble opinion, jd kurang natural lagi. Gak ada foto, soalnya orang mandi saru kan klo difoto hehehehw...

Minggu ini entah mo pergi enggak, anak-anak moodnya enggak jelas.

And you know what, gara-gara nonton The Jane Austen Book Club, dku jd pengen baca novel-novelnya. Hmm... it will be a hard obsession, since I have given up reading Austen's since semester 5 :D

Alrite, gotta stop now, wanna start reading...

luv,
-onk-

Hallelujah

Dear Luv,
check this out:

Song lyrics | Hallelujah lyrics


luv,
-onk-

is it you am looking for?

Dear Luv,

If someone asks me today: how are you?
I'll answer: am not ok, am not fine today. I miss my sunshine a lot!

It's been days since I heard from him. I wish he's fine, oh I believe he's fine, he just doesn't want to contact me. Oh well, it's alrite (no it's not ok), shit happens. Should he wants to give up or give in, I'll be fine, I'll be just fine. Time will heal, right?

Rain will wash my pain, oh yeah it will.
It brings none but keeps me warm.

... and I will continue my journey, seek for my real sunshine.
Is it you am looking for?


luv,
-onk-

what a ...?

Dear Luv,

Kemarin pagi tiba-tiba seorang teman bertanya padaku:

Teman: kamu masih sama cowokmu?
Aku: masih. why?
Teman: Gpp, cuma mau nembak kamu.
Aku: ??
Teman: still there?
Aku: wait. need time to laugh
Teman: why?
Aku: kita kan gak saling kenal. what if am a lesbian or a murderer?
Teman: gak lucu. kita kan udah kenal lama. Apa gak cukup?
Aku: seriously
Teman: am serious. Aku suka sama perhatian yg kamu berikan ke aku.
Aku: what? perhatian wajar sebagai teman kali. well, thanks for asking.
Teman: am not just asking. jadi?
Aku: jangan becanda deh. we're not in love
Teman: ya terserah pendapatmu aja deh
Aku: ??
...

Dan sampai sekarang tidak ada komunikasi lagi dengannya. Aaarggh! Mungkin dia marah, padahal aku suka berteman dengannya. Dia temen ngobrol yang asik. Maybe someday he'll understand that I need to get to know him better before get in love with him.


what is love anyway.
luv,
-onk-

love me for I'll ask no more

Dear Luv,

We had fight last night. I cried, for God sake I cried. Perhaps because I was too tired to deal with his ignorance. I am tired. But I just can't stop now. I need him still for no reason but love.

He said sorry, I said no worry. Love me for I'll ask no more.

And I pray, oh my God do I pray. I pray for the love am struggling to have. I wish, damn wish we'll be fine. As the promise is still hangin' in the air, we'll walk this path better... or frustate trying. Don't give up nor give in, just don't!

Ah, thank you for being there last night.


I love him. I miss his warm hugs and bitter kisses more ...
luv,
-onk-

sadness...

Dear Luv,

Damn glad to hear your voice tonight. Dku lagi sedih banget. Tadi pagi karena harus menolak dan malam ini karena ditolak. Jadi mendengar suaramu tadi betul-betul membuat jiwaku tenang.

Kenapa dia tidak mau mencoba memahami? Kenapa dia begitu keras menolakku? Apa salahku? Kenapa dia begitu mirip kamu dulu?

Aku ingin berteriak. Memaki dan memohon. Melemparkan segala yang kini menyesakkan ini padanya. Aku lelah, aku sudah ingin berhenti. Jika dia tidak mau menggandengku dalam perjalanan ini, lalu kenapa dia mengajakku ketika aku sudah lama berhenti dan akan berbelok ke jalan lain?

Aku hanya ingin disapa dan dirindukan. Apa susahnya itu?



am sad, am missing him...
luv,
-onk-

kamu, matahariku dan nias

Dear Luv,

I am back in Nias. Kalau biasanya disambut terik mentari, kali ini hawa dingin yang menyapa. Dan seperti yang sudah-sudah, hari pertama kedua ketiga --dan semoga hanya itu-- adalah hari yang berat karena dku homesick. Miss my home, my family, my nero and my sunshine. Well, I miss you too.

Aaah...! Kangen dia yang akhir-akhir ini mencoba bersikap manis yang anehnya malah membuatku merasa dia jauh. Dia mencoba bersikap wajar dan terbatas. Yup, I hate this situation. I want my real sunshine back. Dia yang bisa dengan spontan membuatku ingin melompat ke pelukannya. Dia yang mencetuskan ide gila seketika lalu meralatnya kembali after the second thought without any guilty feeling. He, who sees a baby will solve our problem. Tp bukan dia yang pengen married dengan 3 wanita dan tinggal satu kamar itu. Bukan pula dia yang mencetuskan ide utk pergi ke Mesir. Ah, ini pasti gara-gara nonton film AAC. Uugh...!

But you know what, kali ini religion matters. Perhaps because it's about the time. Sedangkan kita dulu kan enggak. Kita terlalu sibuk jatuh cinta jadi gak sempet membahas yang lain-lain. Kami jadi ikutan jengah tiap kali ada hal yang membuat dunia --it's really weird, for me-- bergesekkan soal keagamaan. Percaya gak percaya ya, misalnya nih ada kasus film Fitna yang heboh itu, bisa-bisanya coba dia jd bete sama aku dan hubungan kami. Apa salahku coba?! Gara-gara AAC itu tadi, bisa-bisanya jd pengen istri 3 dan pergi ke Mesir. Aaaaarrghhh...!

Oya, little update from the friend of us who were crying last week. I visited her and she's alrite. She's fine. Thank God she's fine.

Dan dku juga udah mencoba ikut tes masuk kuliah. Hmm... tinggal tunggu pengumuman. Kata Hepi sih, orang pinter kalah sama orang beruntung. Semoga dku punya cukup keberuntungan kali ini. Dan biarkan aku pergi kemana hati membawaku.

Hmm... Nias. Ijinkan aku menikmati pulau ini 3 bulan lagi. Melawan homesick yang menggelitik nakal. Aku akan melangkah lagi, dengan segala keceriaan yang tersisa, dengan semangat untuk pergi... mencari matahariku. Nias adalah tempatku belajar menahan kerinduan atas pahit diciumnya.



luv,
-onk-

he loves her... he loves her not...

Dear Luv,

Last night a best friend of me --and you- was crying. She told me things about what she got after months... even years of trust. It came to pass that her trust has been breached by a good--if not best-- friend of her, who is a good friend of me and you too. Our friend.

Things that a --good, if not best-- friend does. So dirty I could throw it away. So hurtful I would have cried for her. I just couldn't stand hearing her cried tears of ... things that a friend wouldn't do.

The love has spread its wings for nothing.

And I will tell you about the things she cried. In near time when we meet. In a cozy lounge of books and coffee.


I'll see you there!
luv,
-onk-

tarot night

Dear Luv,

Last night I couldn't sleep. Well, it was not because of my imsomniac, no. I couldn't sleep because of him and his ... his attitude. I was thinking about him, about the relationship that we have. You know what, I've lost him since the day I said yes. And I need no Tarot for telling me that.

Tarot said:

• I love him and he loves me then we live the rest of our lives but not together
  
• You are not the one no matter how hard we try, we'll end up tired and exhausted

Got my point? Who needs Tarot?
Oh well, mungkin dku cuma perlu mendengarnya dari orang lain.

And this day, his day, the day that has put me aside... gosh! is almost over and yet I hear nothing from him. Maybe am still a stranger in his world... can't blame him for he's still a passerby in my world.

... and what will Tarot say to you about me?

luv,
-onk-