Tuesday, February 16, 2010

:: Privilege of Being an Expectant #1 ::



Dear Luv,

It's my 22nd or 23rd (?) week, and I kinda enjoy this moment. Well, I never thought that being pregnant can be this lovely -remembering my first trimester, duh! As some said, second trimester is the lightest term of pregnancy. Regardless the headache and nausea, I start to eat a lot.

My body has changed, people now can see my big womb and chubby cheek. As they recognize me being pregnant, they start to give special attention. Oh you know what, it's quite fun actually.

Do you see the banana above? Yup, a friend gave it to me this morning. I asked one or two pieces, I got a cluster instead :) Last week, I asked one or two pieces rambutan, and they gave me a kilo. Perhaps they think that I need lots of certain thing that I asked, when I actually wanted to taste a bit only.

Oh I wish my baby is fine inside me, I really... really happy for his/her presence.
Thanks God.

banana cheers,
-onk-




Thursday, January 7, 2010

rudjak series: 10 years and counting


"You are a blast to the past, a present to the present, and a treasure to the future," quoted from Aree, salah seorang "wanita penghibur" yang menyadarkan betapa kaya diriku.


Dear Luv,

It was an after-rain-evening, neither cold nor warm. The food was plain yet the words were spoken well. At that moment I realized how rich I am, to have such friends. It was a total happiness. Kami bicara banyak, dari pentingnya nampang di sebuah sudut unik kota New York sampai ke "what is happiness?"

Percakapan kemudian mengalir ke sebuah topik, di antara tawa dan intermezzo sederhana. Tentang seorang yang narsis, tentang seorang yang "sakit", tentang seorang yg building allies utk menyerang orang lain, tentang seorang teman. Was it a friend, anyway? It depends on how you define "friend".

Ternyata ada juga orang yang sangat merasa perlu utk menyatakan eksistensinya, tentu saja menurutku karena ia tidak pernah memperoleh pengakuan. Oh well, pengakuan mungkin banyak, tapi yang memenuhi kepuasannya? Uhm... For me it just another form of addiction.

Sedangkan untuk menjawab "what is happiness?", aku merasa tidak berhak. Pertama karena to define happiness is a personal privilege. Second, how can I tell about happiness when I can't give the proof in an absolute statement or material? So it's totally your call.

The next thing was "what is success?" A friend believe that it is a matter of having a lot of money and having a happy family. Another friend said that it was a matter of having a very rich husband and a lot of money. The other said that it was a matter of what you achieve in your own standard. Well, again, it's your call.

Dan selain itu aku lupa, mungkin karena terbasuh derai tawa yang membuat perutku kram semalaman, mungkin karena aku terlalu berusaha mengingatnya, mungkin karena janin di perutku membuatku lupa akan hampir semua hal lainnya, ah entahlah. Jadi biarkan pembicaraan kaya itu menari saja dulu di sel-sel otakku sebelum kumuntahkan kembali di sini untukmu. Ya, untukmu dan masih akan untukmu.



Luv,
-onk-



Monday, October 19, 2009

Gladiator

"What we do, echoing eternity", quoted from Maximus - Gladiator


Isn’t it lovely? An exclamation in the anteroom of death. Such exclamation, instead of brought them to die, brought them to live a victory.

I watched Gladiator last night. It was ... more than great, no... not merely the film production but more on the Maximus’ life, passion and loyalty to Rome. He finally died because of his Rome and more than died --for death’ll bring him to ones he fight for-- his son and wife were killed for no reason by Rome. Ironic. But, he did... echoing eternity for what he’s done.

Then I come to a thinking. Will my deed echoing eternity? or it will just become shadow and dust?


luv,

-onk-