Veronika yang Hidup

Dear Luv,

Semoga hidup memberikan yang terbaik bagimu.

Terlalu lama sudah jiwa ini tidak menyapamu. Aku baik, little ups and downs here and there, but am fine, as always. Hidup tidak selalu sempurna, but it's always beautiful, defiantly.

Did I miss u? I did. I always do and always will.

Beberapa bulan terakhir aku berinteraksi dengan beberapa orang dengan kondisi yang membuat mereka harus bergantung dengan pengobatan seumur hidup. Kami bekerja bersama, kami berteman, kami bersahabat. Aku belajar tentang kehidupan lebih banyak lagi, lebih dari ketika aku belum bertemu dengan mereka. It was amazing that I learned so much dari mereka yang bahkan tidak bermaksud memberikan pelajaran.

Hal terpenting adalah aku belajar tentang bagaimana bersyukur. Really, I'm grateful with what I have. Apa yang tidak aku miliki, tidak akan mengurangi rasa syukurku. Sungguh, betapa banyak kecerobohan yang telah kulakukan dan bisa saja membawaku ke jalan hidup yang lain, tapi kehidupan masih begitu baik padaku. Apa alasanku untuk tidak bersyukur?

Hidup itu menyimpan misteri. Di saat aku mulai melupakan Veronika, they give meaning to Veronika a whole new level. And I feel so blessed and proud to know them, Veronika yang hidup.

Selalu berharap untuk melanjutkan interaksi ini bersama mereka, sampai entah kapan. Selamanya bila mungkin? Hanya keajaiban yang bisa menjawab misteri waktu. Ingin menari bersama cahaya itu, mencari makna dari setiap berkasnya.

Dan bersama mereka aku kembali diam dalam pelukan sepi, berharap kamu di sini bersamaku, bersyukur atas hidup dan kehidupan.

... and let's our minds open, evolve and produce.

luv,
-onk-

Marriage by Society

Dear Luv,

Semoga hidup menjagamu dengan baik.

Hari ini seorang gadis menikahi kekasihnya, hampir semua orang akan melihat hari ini sebagai hari yang bahagia. Well, we can say that, in a way.

Note the key word: hampir semua orang. Yeah, what can I say, aku sering termasuk ke dalam sepersekian orang that beg to differ in few other things.

The girl, who married her lover, is pregnant. She is about six month long and  had kept it a secret until about a week ago. Hmm...

Tapi kenapa? Takut, malu, tidak ingin menghadapi kenyataan dan/atau alasan lain yang bermain dalam pikirannya. Well, in a society like theirs, all those reasons are valid. She is just a year or two over twenty, just graduated from college and unemployed. Her lover isn't even graduated, at the same age or maybe even younger, he is also unemployed and scared shitless with the situation.

As I learned about them from our short encounter through people around us in these two days of helping her with the wedding, they're simply adorable. Both of the bride and groom are young and naive. They're both scared and really, this wedding thing is probably the bravest thing they've ever done until now. But, taking care of their coming child will top that, obviously.

Why did I say so? Because they have through every steps in her pregnancy together. The boy religiously goes to every appointment with the obsgyn. The girl is taking care of her unborn baby very well. It's like they live in their own exclusive world and so damn afraid that if they tell others their little perfect world will fall apart.

But hey, reality sucks guys. As it is written with an invisible ink in the norm and codes of their society, but everyone must obey nonetheless, they have to enter marriage to have good closure before the society's eyes. Or else, everyone in their society will judge and call their unborn child as a little bastard when the baby is born outside marriage. If you know what I mean.

So they finally told their folks and finally got married this morning. What's with the above keyword? The groom has only one person by his side. No friend, no relative, not even his parents and family attended.

He steps into this marriage thing alone. Granted, with his girl and unborn child, but he is actually alone. If you know what I mean.

No one should put the blame and judgement to them. They love each other, they're both adult, legal age, maybe irresponsible at first, but the future of their life and the coming little one is what matters, nothing else. Even if they decide to not enter marriage, that should none of anyone's concern. They've proven that they love each other and try their ass off to be a dedicated parents for the unborn child. For me, that's enough, as long as they keep doing what's best for the little one that'll see the world in less than few months.

Go to hell for those hypocrite, arrogant and selfish jerks. Just do us a favor, pack your butt and sod off.

Let's open our minds to evolve and produce.

Luv,
-onk-

Happy Ever After (?)

Dear Luv,

It’s been a while, I know. Does life treat you good? I hope so.

Sebuah percakapan dengan seorang teman baik beberapa hari yang lalu telah mengingatkanku padamu. Seakan mendengar denting lonceng gereja tua dari kejauhan. Seperti memanggil, seperti meminta, seperti menegur. Tapi sebelum aku sempat menoleh, denting itu pelahan menghilang, tertelan deru angin, terhantam debur ombak di kejauhan, terkikis bara mentari.
Faded and then gone. Kemudian aku harus bertanya, apakah itu nyata atau hanya imajinasiku belaka?

Kemudian yang tersisa adalah kerinduan. Apakah aku masih merindukanmu? Apakah aku masih mencintaimu?

Cinta adalah sesuatu yang selalu punya cara untuk mengusik ketenangan dari keheningan jiwa. Apa yang cinta inginkan, seringkali kita tidak pernah tahu? Apakah suatu saat kita akan tahu? Kebanyakan orang tidak ingin tahu.

Love is pain. I knew that much. Tapi kenapa selalu ada jiwa yang terjebak dalam ilusi cinta? Apakah mereka bisa keluar? Apakah mereka ingin keluar? Entahlah. Mungkin seperti berada di dalam labirin, berputar-putar dan akhirnya tersesat. Tapi setelah mereka berhasil keluar, they will enter it again in a blink of an eye. Maybe, because being alone is hurt even more.

But who am I to judge, or even to complain? What do I know about love? All I know is to love you. No regret, no hope, no pain.

“If happy ever after did exist, I would still be holding you like this. All those fairytales are full of shit. One more stupid love song I’ll be sick”

-- Payphone by Maroon 5 --

... and let our minds open, evolve and produce.
Luv,

-onk-