L.O.V.E

Dear Luv,

"How does one connect two souls? Two worlds? Two realities? When there are seas and skies and mountains and seasons separating us?" -- quoted from Christy

A good question I thought, and directly answered it must have been LOVE. I was once naively thought that LOVE would never could hurt me. Now, as I stepped into romantic life and broke my heart again and again, I realize that LOVE is simply unique and inevitable. It sucks, well in someways.

It is the fourth of January 2006 and this year's resolution is still hangin' in the air, fresh as cake from the oven. The same resolution as last year and last two years. Well, sometimes shit happens and I just could not over it yet. No need to ask, the answer --if any-- is hiding from me ever since I asked for the first time. I guess it's one of my unsolved mysteries.

Christmas was passing me by, she even didn't stop to chat for a while. And New Year was just the same. Thankfully though, at least some of us had little time to sit and relax and laugh at Mr. Stephen Cow and his --you know what.

As I write this L.O.V.E, I am sitting in my office-chair, the same chair for the last 2,5 years, to give you a big warm L.O.V.E-words-hug with hopes that when you have a moment, you will send me the a little of your L.O.V.E and our L.O.V.E will merge and meld into ... into ... I'm not quite sure what. Anyway, as I said for years, quoting from .. I could not remember, falling in love is just like another fall, it'll hurt. And from that quote this L.O.V.E begins.

I was naively and stupidly thought that I would never ever get hurt by LOVE. As I stepped forward to enter that fuckinlove world, I then realized that I should have really put attention on the quote above and marked it as WARNING: LOVE HURT. Perhaps LOVE is an obligatory phase in this life. Hukumnya wajib kali ya. Buat kalian yg mungkin blom ngalamin LOVE, inget BEWARE: LOVE HURT! Dku nemu kutipan berikut dari surat cinta yg nyangsang di cybersastra (www.cybersastra.net): "Bodohkah aku jika masih saja mengalamatkan rindu padamu? Saat tak ada lagi detik yang kau lewatkan untuk mengingatku. Saat tak ada lagi sisa diriku yang terpatri dalam hidupmu. Cabikan kenangan tentangku telah terburai. Bahkan hanya sekedar namaku pun kau lupakan." Bodoh gak sih? Nyata iya, bodoh? entah. seorang teman pernah bilang: When you love someone, you do crazy things but you don't realize it". Dan suatu saat ketika kita sudah tidak jatuh cinta atau cinta telah meninggalkan kita dan kita ingat akan all crazy things we've done, percayalah It'll hurt! Tapi setelah semuanya.. dan percayalah untuk mencapai kata "setelah semuanya" itu akan membutuhkan waktu yang lama dan lama dan laaamaaa baaanggeeeet!!! gak bisa dihitung dengan satu atau dua tahun --- even some said, first love will last forever.. and I said: Anjrit....!!!! tapi setelah semuanya, after all are said and done --including all the cry me a river phases, we'll laugh at every single crazy things we've done .... eventually.

I used to hate the one who ever hurt me, but then I thought --after a year full of hatred-- the more I hate him the more I keep him in my mind. Then I simply got rid of my hate and I then learned to hug the heartache. Amazingly, it worked... After a year and a half I could come to him, look at him just right in his eyes and smile. And after two and a half years we could talk. What took it so long? the right moment to act? I never knew.

Why do we bother to fall in love, anyway? Ask me not. I remember a friend quoted from... (where...?) : when we are in love we feel like there's butterfly flying in our stomach. Was it love? or simply an immediate attraction? What makes us fall in love? and how could we know that He is the One?

I often wait for the "click" sound whenever I am with someone new or someone old but new -- nevertheless, in some cases what we thought a "click" sound was actually not the real "click" for the one we love(d) and when finally he told us about it... wew... it hurt! --- Have you found your "click" sound? Will the "click" sound come to us or we should find it? as a proverb said: nothing in this world happens by chance.

luv,

-onk-

The Three Oddest Words

Dear Luv,
This is one of my favorite poems:

The Three Oddest Words

When I pronounce the word Future,
the first syllable already belongs to the past.

When I pronounce the word Silence,
I destroy it.

When I pronounce the word Nothing,
I make something no non-being can hold.


By Wislawa Szymborska
Translated by S. Baranczak & C. Cavanagh© Wislawa Szymborska, S. Baranczak & C. Cavanagh

:: women ::

Dear Luv,
I just wanna share this with you, a piece of writing that comes out from my mind...

...
Woman is awesome... nope, she's more than words.
Delicate like flower but strong enough to move this world.
Why so?
This morning I went to Beringharjo market, and guess what I met a living portrait of Bu Bei (one of characters in Arswendo's Canting). For those ever read Canting will know who she is.
Anyway, gara-gara sebuah sesi di feminism school, dku jadi tambah yakin klo kesetaraan gender adalah perkara akses pertama-tama. tanpa akses tidak akan ada penyadaran, pendidikan, partisipasi apalagi kontrol. Feminism bukan sekedar melawan mengalahkan pria, not at all gals! it's not about defeating them. It's about how to make them realize that we must be equal in access to have awareness, to participate and to have control. IT'S ABOUT HOW TO ELIMINATE ANY DISCRIMINATION. Living portrait of Bu Bei di atas apakah berbeda dengan wanita karir di kantoran mewah? tidak, jika mereka sama-sama mengalami diskriminasi, tidak jika mereka sama-sama belom memiliki kontrol atas hidup mereka sendiri.

Kuota 30% yang diberikan bagi wanita untuk berpolitik di negara ini belum maksimal digunakan ketika kesetaraan gender baru pada tahap pemberian akses -itu pun belom merata -- dan secara instan kita diminta berpartisipasi sedangkan pendidikan penyadaran (tidak hanya dalam hal berpolitik) bagi kita baru saja dimulai, diperparah dengan kontrol yang masih belum berada di tangan kita.
Apa artinya bekerja setengah mati melawan ketidaksetaraan dengan menjadi wanita karir atau feminist atau aktivist namun tetap tidak tahu apa yang diperjuangkan?
Hidup adalah pilihan, ketika kita telah memiliki kontrol maka kita bisa memilih. Sayangnya, tidak semua wanita di negara kita tercinta ini telah sampai pada tahap itu, bahkan mereka pun belum sampai pada tahap terbukanya akses.

Wanita di negara ini baru mengenal apa itu kesetaraan gender, ketika jendela kami dibuka pada tahun 1974 dengan CEDAW --walo Ibu Kartini telah mendobrak celah sejak berpuluh tahun lalu-- jangankan berpolitik dalam Dewan, lha wong rapat RT saja hanya bapaknya yang ikut kok.

Kami sedang belajar merangkak keluar dari kungkungan kultur, tradisi, agama dan norma. Bantu kami dan jangan sirik ketika melihat kami mulai berjalan mencari keadilan. Bukan salah kami jika kami masih saja laku dalam perdagangan budak sampai abad ini. Bukan juga salah kami jika melalui rahim kamilah generasi sebuah bangsa diteruskan. Melainkan kebenaran kami bahwa kami sama istimewanya dengan kaum pria!